I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
