why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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