He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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