Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
