i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
