I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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