She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
