Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
