Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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