; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
