I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
