"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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