Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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