One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he thought i was a dude.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
