I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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