I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
