Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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