You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
