yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize