He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
