it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
