I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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