just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
