I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Randomize
