Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
