I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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