I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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