I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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