I'm jealous of your bromance
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
