He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
