I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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