I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
