it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
