i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
