just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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