when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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