dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
