their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
