so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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