I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
