I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
