Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
