Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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