After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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