I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
