was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
