I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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