Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
