if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
