508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Never joke about your clitoris.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
