My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
