eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
