I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
