It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
