the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize