It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
