he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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