cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
